My Him

In many ways, I feel as if I’ve lived a lifetime since October, 2006. It was during that time I seperated from and ultimately divorced my (now ex) husband.

Since then I have experienced much- I lived through the effects of substance abuse and domestic violence; I have learned the lesson of financial independence and been taught to live the life of a single mother; I have had more fun than I ever could have imagined, and cried more tears than I ever thought possible; I discovered passions I never knew existed- social justice, politics and writing; I have learned about the holes unresolved pain and anger can burn into our souls…

… But most importantly, perhaps, I have learned the lesson of unconditional love, the lesson of how to forgive and the lesson of what it means to be forgiven.

It wasn’t long after I seperated from my ex-husband that My Him came into my life. We quickly became fast-friends- kindred spirits- conversating constantly about anything and everything; the time we spent together… stolen moments here and there… rarely, a night or a weekend… but never enough, became my lifeline. 

We laughed, we cried, we fought, and we loved like crazy… though we did so in such completely imperfect fashion that somehow, through all the twists and turns,  we managed to make it perfect nonetheless.

I quickly found myself relying on him for many things: emotional support, companionship, intense political debates and so much more. He was my shoulder to cry on, my biggest, proudest cheerleader, the most fierce, passionate man I had ever met. He knew how to pick me up, and just when to push me hard.  

I learned, through that friendship, what it means to have a partner. Even when forced to deal with me at my ugliest, he never flinched… perhaps he knew what I didn’t… that soon, our roles would reverse, and it was he who would be in need.

I, like My Him for me, was there.

Hurdle after hurdle, we cleared them all. We were not graceful, my Him and I, but we certainly worked harder than we’d ever worked at anything in our lives. More than once, we almost didn’t make it, the speedbumps too large, the blindspots too wide…

… Always, however, we pulled through.

Our bond became stronger through each and every trial and triumph, until finally, we knew.

Ours is the stuff steel is made of. Ours is not to be broken.

As I reflect on the last few years of my life, I realize that through a single person, I have learned more about myself, my potential, my very inner core than a thousand men could ever have hoped to teach me. While there are many unknowns that lay ahead, one thing is certain- no matter the journey or distance I am to travel, I am to do so with My Him right beside me.

My life is in transition again… things are changing quickly… but I am not alone. My rock is here to support me, to stand strong next to me.

To Him who has become my heart, I have to say thank you.

Thank you for allowing me in, thank you for accepting nothing less than the best from me… thank you for loving me, for forgiving me… thank you for finding me and never giving up on me…

… Thank you for making me your wife.

I will live the rest of my days making sure you never regret it.

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