The Suspension That Never Was…

Deep down, I knew this shit was too good to be true.

The GOP ticket is so full of empty promises- it’s enough to break a girl’s heart.

So while everyone else was busy suspending McCain’s campaign, he was busy…

Um…

Campaigning.

Naw- he didn’t actually hightail it to Washington to steer the Senate masses in the right direction so as to pass this economic bailout thing.

I know, I know- that’s what he said he was going to do… but… well…

He didn’t.

He was much too busy for any of that bailout nonsense- I mean, he has a suspended campaign to run!

And what he was unable to accomplish… you know… since his campaign was suspended and all…

He delegated to his talking heads.

Tucker Bounds and Nicolle Wallace found time- overcoming the broken heart I’m certain a suspended campaign might cause- to hang out at MSNBC…

Now to an untrained eye, it may have looked like they were continuing to campaign… but I know that can’t possibly be the case… because the campaign has actually been suspended…

Right?

Right.

The great Senator had to get to Washington right away to help Congress save the world by way of bailing out the financial sector…

Or not.

You see, McCain was actually AWOL as of 10 AM this morning, while the rest of Congress was busy ironing out a bailout plan that taxpayers may just be able to survive.

Um… Why wasn’t he there, you ask?

Perhaps it’s because he was kinda busy campaigning (ohhhh what a dirty word, when one has sworn to cease campaigning) at the Clinton Global Initiative.

Wow.

For those who may be curious, There isn’t actually any economic bailout talking- or voting- occuring there.

If I didn’t know better, I’d be suspicious, thinking maybe McCain didn’t suspend that daggone campaign after all!

He also managed to make a little time to talk to Katie Couric– no, not about the bailout he’s so hell bent on suspending shit over- but rather…  

… His campaign.

He was, however, much too busy to come through for David Letterman, as scheduled…

Or to commit to participating in the debates on Friday… and he really kinda thinks it’s necessary to reschedule the VP debates too, while we’re at it.

Sigh.

Perhaps I’m being a bit unfair.

He did manage to show up in Washington today around 4PM, just in time for the hand-holding, peace-pipe smoking photo op session with George Bush.

Only in America…

… Do people actually buy into this shit.

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