Renegade Chicken Captured

All is well with the world.

The elusive Mcdonald’s chicken has been caught.

Allow me to explain- apparently there was a renegade chicken on the loose at a McDonald’s restaurant in California.

Damn thing managed to live there for four months before being captured.

Customers often found themselves waiting patiently in the drive-thru line, unable to pull forward to pick up their orders because the stupid thing would park itself squarely in their way, refusing to move.

Every one of those customers are better than me… I’d have run its little cluckin’ ass over.

Nothing stands between me and my McDonald’s fries… nothing!

Over the months, many people attempted to capture the little sucker, all to no avail.

Some folks used their bare hands to try and grab her, while others attempted to lure her with tasty tidbits of food.

She was a smart little critter, that’s for sure.

Ultimately, she got a little too comfortable around all those people… and that was her downfall.

Sounds kind of like an episode of Law and Order to me… cocky (pardon the pun) criminal guy gets a little too comfortable… starts getting sloppy… therefore begins making mistakes… ultimately making that fatal error… the one that gets him/her caught…

This little chicken would usually sleep in some nearby bushes at night, away from the restaurant.

On this one fateful evening she decided instead to settle down for the evening on top of the drive-thru window box.

This time, they caught her… they exploited her hamburger weakness and lured her on over to them…

Thus, poor Chicken Little’s days of freedom and gorging on Big Macs has come to an end.

McDonalds did issue a statement saying that this particular chicken would not be used in their meat to make nuggets or any other chicken-based items.

Duh.

Like McDonald’s really needed to issue a statement to say that.

We all know they don’t use real meat in those damn nuggets anyway, renegade chicken on the loose or not.

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2 thoughts on “Renegade Chicken Captured

  1. The word ‘renegade’ in proximity to the word ‘chicken’ just made my day. It sounds like a weird superhero, you know, from one of those random ten-minute-long filler cartoons, like Banana Man or Danger Mouse.

    Behold, the fearsome Renegade Chicken!

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