A Good Reason to Stay Single

Ever since my divorce was final, I knew I would never again marry.

I pretty much based that decision on the bad taste my first marriage left in my mouth… kinda like morning breath on steroids.

In a word, it sucked.

Sure, it was nice to have someone to share the everyday burdens of life with. I liked being able to hand the kids off to him when I was completely out of patience and ready to wring their adorable little necks. I especially liked having someone around to change both my oil and the lightbulbs as needed.

As for the sex… well… nevermind.

Ultimately though- at the end of the day- the cons outweighed the pros… ten-fold.

I walked away from my divorce knowing two things- one, I was going to throw a party because it was finally over- and two, I was never and I mean never getting married again.

That’s why I found it interesting when I came across this article on msnbc. Reading it completely re-affirmed my reasons to never again do the aisle-walk thing.

Here’s another set of published stats to check out… this crap is just plain scary.

Interestingly, the timing of my coming across the msnbc article as well as the corresponding stats was perfect.

Just yesterday a dear friend of mine found out her sweetie pie had been cheating on her for the past 7 months.

She got him back… and while I don’t always condone revenge, I gotta say this one had it coming.

My friend wasn’t married… and if you read the stats, unmarried couples in monogomous relationships face the same fidelity challenges. 

Maybe, just maybe, humans aren’t meant to mate with “that one special person” for life.

Personally, I don’t like the odds, so I think I’d rather not play the game.

Back in the day, when I was younger and dumber, I remember being cheated on. It sucked more than words can describe.

It was a horrific ordeal, and I would rather stab myself in the eye with hot pokers than go through it again.

Luckily for all of us, it seems I don’t need to get into too much detail with regards to the pain infidelity causes… as the article states, approximately 1 in 5 of you, dear readers, have experienced this horrific ordeal yourselves.

To add insult to injury, it appears that of all these cheatin’ asses out there, only 2% ever actually get caught.

Therefore, as for my willingness to go there and get involved in a relationship again… 

No thank you.

I remember all too vividly the pain of realizing the one and only person I had ever trusted was being anything and everything but faithful.

Do it once, shame on them- do it twice, shame on me.

Some pals of mine say I’m just bitter… well, yea, I guess I am.

But for once, I have the numbers on my side, backin’ my ass up.

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17 thoughts on “A Good Reason to Stay Single

  1. Ok , well you know how i feel about this. Im just a big ole OPTIMIST!!I dont believe that a person should give up on finding someone to be happy with. Especially because of another person actions adn screw up. I understands that it hurts being lied to and cheated on. But , what if you do find that someone . Will you be able to see and noticed them or will you be blinded with the bad taste from a previous relationship. I say , don’t give up just be a lil more cautios cause you never know , you might just find the right person for you if you are open to the possibility of still finding that person.

  2. I’m still an optimist, but I feel your pain. The statistics (and personal experience) really makes it hard to trust people sometimes.

    How long were you married? It’s too bad it ended, but then again it sounds like you are better off.

  3. I was married for just over 8 years. It wasn’t horrible all the time, but towards the end, divorce really was our only option. The relationship had more than run its course, and I was just too tired to keep trying to fix it… not when when the same things kept happening over and over again.

  4. I’m one of these person that never saw the reason for being married in the first place, I’m forever single, and happy Man, And It’s good to know Women feel the same way about It, Because be married is A ball And Chain To Being Free, And WE were never ment to be tided down to anyone’s demans on how to live a happy life.

    Being married is slavery of ones freedom of live, That go’s for both Women & Men.
    A happy Life is A Free Life, Forever Single Is The Only Way To Be Happy Forever.
    CHEER’S TO ALL WHO UNDERSTAND WHAT I’M SAYING TO ALL, THANKS.

  5. Our Speices That is womens and mens D.N.A. IS NOT CONPATIABLE IN RELATIONSHIPS, BUT ONLY ONE WAY IT IS,— IS PLUTONIC RELATIONSHIPS ONLY, BECAUSE UNCONIDITION LOVE NEVER EXISTED IN HUMANS IN THE FIRST PLACE, AND NEVER HAS, AND NEVER WILL BE, —THIS IS A TRUE FACT.

    TO ME AS A RATIONAL HUMAN BEING, LOVE IS A ILLUSION, SURE YOU MAY BELEIVE IN LOVE BUT IT’S ALL CONIDITIONLY LEARNED.
    WE ARE ALL SELFISH HUMANS, BECAUSE OF WANTS AND DESIRES, THAT’S WHAT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT,—- SO MAKE THE BEST OUT OF IT, IF THAT’S WHAT YOU WANT TO DO, BECAUSE LIFE IS SHORT, AND YOU ARE THE ONLY ONES THAT CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY, WETHLER YOU ARE A WOMAN , OR A MAN, THAT’S IT IN A NUT SHELL.

    IT DOESN’T MATTER TO ME,– IF YOU REJECT THIS TOPIC OR AGREE WITH IT,— BUT WHAT DOES MATTER IS THAT I KNOW THAT I’M HAPPY WITH THE LIFE I HAVE, AND I HOPE YOU ARE HAPPY WITH YOURS.

    LIFE IS ALL ABOUT GETTING WHAT YOU WANT, “WITHOUT HURTING OTHERS IN THE PROCESS OF BEING HAPPY”.

    REMEMEBER THAT HUMAN LIFE IS SOMETIME SELFISH, BUT DON’T LET IT HURT OTHERS IN THE PROCESS OF BEING TRUE TO OURSELFS, BECAUSE THAT’S HUMAN NATURE.

    Cheer’s: To— All WHO WANT TO BE FREE FOREVER, VOTE FOR FOREVER SINGLE, THE ONLY WAY TO GET WHAT YOU WANT– FOREVER..

  6. After going through a handful of bad relationships, I dread at the idea of dating or being emotionally involved with anyone. I have better things to do.

    1. YES MAX, I AGREE WITH YOU A 1000% PERCENT ON THIS TOPIC, THAT RELATIONSHIPS ARE EMOTIONALLY DESTUCTIVE IN EVERY WAY TO HUMAN BEINGS.

      MOST RELATIONSHIPS ARE BAD, BECAUSE POEPLE WERE NOT MEANT TO BE TIDED DOWN TO EACH OTHERS WAYS OF LIVING IT JUST DOESN’T WORK FOR THE MASSES OF HUMANS ON THIS PLANET.
      I HAVE NEVER DATED, NEVER MARRIED, NEVER WILL AND NEVER WANT TO, I HAVE A BETTER WAYS OF LIVING MY LIFE.

      YOU CAN’T PLEASE ANYBODY,– BUT YOURSELF IN LIFE,— LIFE SUCKS WHEN YOU HAVE TO PLEASE SOMEBODY ELSE DESRIES AND IT DOESN’T WORK AND YOU KEEP TRYING TO PLEASE THEM AND IT STILL DOESN’T WORK,– THAT TOTALY SUCKS, BUT THAT’S THE TOTALY TRUTH, IT’S BETTER TO BE SELFISH THAN SORRY, NO ONE GOING TO DO IT FOR YOU BUT YOU, THATS THE WAY HUMAN ARE REALLY.

      MEN HAVE IT HARDER SOMETIME THAN WOMEN IN RELATIONSHIPS, BUT SOMETIMES BOTH SIDES ARE HARD TO PLEASE,

      THIS IS NOT FOR ME, THIS TOTALY SUCKS TAKEING CARE OF SOMEBODY ELSES PROBLEMS, I KNOW THIS SOUND MEAN TO WOMEN, AND I’M SORRY IF IT SOUND MEAN TO WOMEN, BUT WHY LIE ABOUT IT, WE ARE ALL SELFISH TO SOME DEGREE ABOUT WANTING THINGS OUR OWN WAY, FOR WANTS AND DESIRES, WE ONLY HAVE SOME 80 TO 90 YEARS OF LIFE TO GET TRUE HAPPINESS NO MATTER WHAT THAT IS TO EACH AND EVERY HUMAN BEING ON THIS PLANET.

      THIS IS THE WAY OF OUR SPEICES D.N.A. CODE, THE SELFISH GENIE, WE DO OUR BEST NOT TO BE SELFISH, BUT IF WE DON’T GET WHAT WE WANT,– THEN IT’S TIME TO BE SELFISH, NOT TO THE POINT OF HURTING HUMANS, BUT TO THE POINT OF RATIONAL THINKING WORKING OUT PROBLEM FOR YOURSELF SO THAT YOU NEVER GET IN TO RELATIONSHIPS, TO HURT POEPLE.
      THERE ARE OTHER WAYS TO GET WHAT YOU WANT OUT OF LIFE, WITH OUT BEING IN RELATIONSHIPS.

      IN RELATIONSHIPS– THERE IS LIMITED SEX, SOMETIME NO SEX AFTER YEARS.
      NO FREEDOM AFTER SOMETIME.
      AND THE WORST YET FIGHT OVER STUPID TRIVAL CRAP.
      MOST RELATIONSHIP TURN TO CRAP BECAUSE WE AS HUMANS HAVE THE SELFISH GENIE IN USE HUMAN, THE ONLY THING TO DO ABOUT IT IS TO NEVER BE EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED WITH RELATIONSHIPS BECAUSE IT REALLY NEVER WORK NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY, OR HOW YOU LOOK AT IT.
      THIS GOES FOR BOTH WOMEN AND MEN, THEY CAN GET ALONG IF IT’S ONLY PLUTONIC, OR BUSINESS MATTER THAT’S IT, AND THAT’S ALL IT EVER WILL BE, BECUSE OF WOMEN AND MEN DESRIES FOR SEX, BUT IT’S MOSTLY MEN THAT FEEL THIS WAY NOT SOME MUCH WOMEN.

      THE SAD TRUTH IS WOMEN AND MEN HAVE TO FIND THEIR OWN WAY OF PLEASURE, BUT FOR MEN IT’S A WHOLE LOT BETTER FOR MEN TO GET THE FIX THEY WANT, THAN WOMEN.
      BE SELFISH TO YOURSELF, THATS THE ONLY ONE YOU CAN MAKE HAPPY IS YOU, BECAUSE SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BE, TO GET THE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY, BECAUSE YOUR PARTNER IS SURLY NOT GOING TO DO IT FOR YOU, WHY NOT DO IT YOUR SELF.

      THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ, AND STAY HAPPY.

  7. Well it certainly sucks when things turn out bad. I would say that on the other side of the coin there are a lot of people out there that are not happy without finding that one person. It is true that we are selfish by nature, just look how kids develope if they are not taught how to share. The key to having a relationship work is compromising on certain things. The problem is if your partner is extremely uncompatable with you, you will end up compromising so much that you won’t be happy or feel like you can be yourself. The best partner is one that you can be yourself around and not cause conflict. A marriage will not work for someone who is not happy in a monogamous relationship.

    1. THE THING WITH ME IS, I NEVER WANTED A RELATIONSHIP WITH ANY WOMAN, OR WOMEN, BECAUSE THEY ARE TO HARD TO PLEASE. WOMEN AND MEN ARE BY NATURE TO SELFISH TO BE TOGETHER.
      MOST WOMEN AND MEN ARE TRULY UNCOMPATABLE WITH EACH OTHER, SAD BUT TRUE.

      I WILL NEVER HAVE THAT PROBLEM, BECAUSE I WILL NEVER OWN ANYBODYS PROBLEM LIKE THAT WHAT-SO-EVER.

      MEN THAT ARE SMART LIKE ME, WILL NEVER DATE, OR GET MARRIED, OR COHATITATE WITH A WOMAN, OR WOMEN,— SOME WOMEN ARE LIKE THIS TO, SO MORE POWER TO THEM, BE FREE, NOT TIRED DOWN YOUR PARTNER, OR WHOM EVER.
      I NEVER WANTED A WIFE AND KIDS, JUST FREEDOM TO BE HAPPY AND NEVER TIRED DOWN TO A WOMAN, NOW IS THAT SELFISH OR NOT?
      YOU MAY OR NOT THINK THAT’S SELFISH, BUT TO ME IT’S FREEDOM TO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT WITH YOUR LIFE SO LONG AS IT DOESN’T HURT ANYBODY ELSE, I DON’T SEE ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT, LIKE I SAID BEFORE I DON’T OWN ANYBODYS PROBLEMS, BUT MY PROBLEMS I FIX MYSELF.
      THERE ARE ALOT OF WOMEN AND MEN WHO WILL NEVER COMFORM TO DATING AND TO GET MARRIED OR HAVE KIDS, BECAUSE IT REALY SUCKS, THAT’S ONE BIG PROBLEM I WILL NEVER OWN IN MY LIFE.

      HUMAN BEING ARE IN MY OPINION TO MESS-UP TO GET IN A RELATIONSHIP A PARTNER.

      I LET POEPLE HAVE THIER OWN WAY OF LIVING, SO LONG THAT I CAN LIVE BY MY WAY OF BEING HAPPLY WITH NO PROBLEMS, BECAUSE I WILL NEVER OWN ANYBODYS PROBLEMS IN THE FIRST PLACE, THATS THE WAY OF A WINNER, WITHOUT HURTING POEPLE IN THE PROCESS OF LIVING A GOOD LIFE.

      WHAT MORE CAN I SAY, I LIKE BEING FOREVER SINGLE, BECAUSE I CAN FIX MY OWN PROBLEMS, AND I’M TOTALY HAPPY.

      1. Hi William,
        Thanks for sharing.

        I do have a question tho- and please know, I really am just curious- I truly mean no disrespect.

        Does your way of life not get lonely sometimes? I can see the obvious pro to never relying on anyone else, and never allowing anyone to rely on you in return- no one gets hurt, no one’s ever disappointed when there is no expectation of anything to begin with…

        I just wonder how you handle the inevitable loneliness factor.

        Do you go out with women, and just explain upfront that you are not looking for a relationship, or do you simply keep to yourself entirely?

        Personally, I oscilate between the two. Sometimes I just don’t have the energy or the patience to deal with other people, and am most content at home all by myself, doing my own thing. Other times, I find myself craving human contact, and typically end up on a whirlwind dating tour- a relatively short one, but a marathon nonetheless- as a result.

        Just wondering how you handle those sorts of things.

        Again, thanks for stoppin’ thru!

        ~C-Haze

  8. NO I NEVER WILL GO OUT WITH WOMEN, AND I EXPLAIN UP FRONT THAT I’M NOT LOOK FOR A RELATIONSHIP OF ANYKIND WHAT-SO-EVER, BECAUSE I DON’T TRUST ANYBODY IN THIS WORLD, FOR MOST POEPLE WILL HURT YOU SOME HOW, NOT FOR ME.

    DO I GET LONELY SOMETIMES,–MOSTLY NO, BECAUSE I CAN TAKE CARE OF MY BIOLGLCAL NEEDS, WE ALL HAVE THEM, I’M JUST BEING NICE ABOUT IT.

    TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION? I PERSONLY LIKE LIVING BY MYSELF FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, IT CAN BE DONE, FOR POEPLE WHO FEEL LIKE ME, BECAUSE I’M THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN FIX MY PROBLEMS ONLY NO ONE ELSE IN THIS WORLD CAN DO THAT FOR ME, BUT ME…

    1. Hi William,
      I guess that begs the next question…

      … If I’m getting too personal, tell me to shut up.

      Have you always felt this way? Or were you hurt- badly burned- somewhere along the way?

      I know I choose to remain single because my marriage left a horrid taste in my mouth… one I won’t easily forget, or manage to wash out.

      1. YES, AND I HAVE SEEN MY MOTHER GET RID OF MY FATHER, MY FATHER BEAT ME ,WHEN I WAS 6 YEARS OLD, AND SAID TO ME, IF I TOLD MY MOTHER ABOUT THIS HE WOULD KILL ME, SO I TOLD MY MOTHER WHEN I WAS AGE 42, AND NOW I’M 46 YEARS OLD. I HATE SCHOOL I HATE POEPLE WHO ARE EVIL TO ME, AND POEPLE WHO ARE I FOR MONEY, SEE YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS LOVE, LOVE TO ME IS A DELUSION, I CAN ONLY TRUST SOMEONE IF THEY ARE LIKE ME, AND UNDERSTAND WERE THE HELL I’M COMING FROM, YES POEPLE CAN HURT YOU, BUT I DON’T HAVE TO OWN THE PROBLEM, BUT I DO HAVE PTSD OVER IT BUT I CONTROLL IT TO SOME DEGREE.

        YES I CHOOSE TO REMAIN SINGLE FOREVER, BECAUSE LOVE IS AND ILLUSION, A MENTAL ILLNESS, ONLY RATIONAL THINKING POEPLE CAN SEE THAT THE WHOLE HUMAN RACE IS VERY MESS-UP, WE ARE A MESS-UP-SPECIES.

        AND YES I THINK THE WORLD WILL BE DESTORYED MYBE IN MY LIFE TIME, BECAUSE POEPLE CAN’T SEE THE TRUTH ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS, AND HOW DESTRUTIVE THEY ARE FOR ONES HEALTH.
        IF THERE IS A WAR, A WORLD WAR, I’M GETTING THE HELL OUT OF THIS WORLD, THE HELL OUT OF DODGE,— BECAUSE I WANT MORE FREEDOM FROM PAIN, AND THATS THE BEST YOU CAN GET WHEN THE WORLD GO BAD, THAT IS POEPLE WHO TRUN THE WORLD UPSIDE DOWN, ON ONE LIKE ME CAN LIVE IN THAT HELL HOLE.

        I WATCH OTHER POEPLE LIVES GET RIPPED OF BY RELATIONSHIPS, RELATIONSHIP ARE TO ME EVIL MOST OF THEM ARE,— NOT ALL.
        YES I HAVE BEEN BADLY HURT BY MY FATHER AND TEEN GIRLS IN SCHOOL AND ALL SCHOOLS THIS IS WHY I THINK THE WORLD IS EVIL.

      2. Thank you for sharing.

        I’m so sorry about everything you’ve been through.

        In reading the summary you provided of your experiences, it becomes crystal clear why one would feel the way you do about love, relationships and trust.

        I can see why trusting another human being is something you truly are loathe to do.

        I would argue that relationships, in and of themselves, are not evil… but rather some of the people who choose to participate in them are.

        I actually believe in the institution of marriage- and I respect it fully- I just don’t know that I am a good candidate for it.

        Who knows… maybe there’s a middle ground, maybe not.

        Regardless, I thank you for sharing and for helping me to learn a little bit about where you’re coming from, and why it is that you believe the things you do.

        Hopefully I’ll continue to see you around the site.

        Take care!

  9. OVER 60% TO 85% PERCENT OF POEPLE WHO ARE IN RELATIONSHIPS ARE NOT A GOOD CANDIDATE, OR DON’T KNOW IF THEY ARE A GOOD CANDIDATE FOR RELATIONSHIPS.
    LOOK UP NOMARRIAGE.COM AND YOU WILL SEE WHY MANY MEN ARE AGAIN’TS BEING MARRIED, SURE THERE ARE WOMEN THAT FEEL THE SAME AS MEN, BUT HOWEVER THERE’S MORE MEN, I THINK BUT THERE IS MORE MEN THAT SUFFER FROM THIS PROBLEM THAN WOMEN.

    MANY WOMEN AND MEN ARE TRYING TO BE GOOD CANDIDATES FOR RELATIONSHIPS, BUT HOWEVER MOST OF THEM WILL NEVER MAKE IT NO MATTER HOW HARD THEY TRY, I DON’T HAVE TO TRY, I KNOW I’M NOT A GOOD CANDIDATE FOR A RELATIONSHIP WITH A WOMAN, EVEN THAT I HAVE NEVER BEEN IN ONE, BUT YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP TO KNOW, YOU JUST WATCH OTHERS SCREW UP THERE LIVES IN RELATIONSHIPS, AND YES WOMEN HAVE WANTED ME IN RELATIONSHIPS BUT I SAID NO, AND THEY HATE THAT OF ME, OR MAYBE, THEY WANT TO RIP ME OFF IN DEVOIRCE COURT, WHICH WILL NEVER HAPPIN TO ME BECAUSE I’M A SMART HUMAN BEING THAT UNDERSTANDS THAT I’M NOT A GOOD CANDIDATE FOR STRESS, OR THE STRESS OF WOMENS PROBLEMS, THE SAME GOES FOR WOMEN WHO FEEL THE SAME WAY AS ME.

    I REPECT YOU BECAUSE YOU STILL HAVE HOPE FOR MAYBE BEING MARRIED SOMEDAY OR NOT, WHATEVER YOU INJOY DO IT FOR HAPPINESS, BECAUSE LIFE IS TOO SHORT

    IT’S POEPLE WHO DO EVIL NOT RELATIONSHIPS, THIS IS WHY I DON’T LIKE BEING IN RELATIONSHIPS, BECAUSE MY GIRL FRIEND MITE STABB ME IN THE BACK, IF I HAD ONE.— NO I WOULD NEVER DO THAT TO HER, LOVE IS PAINFUL, BECAUSE IT’S NOT UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

    REGARDLESS OF YOUR WAYS OF RATIONAL THINKING,– I FULLY RESPECT YOU IN ALL YOUR VIEWS OF RESPECTING MARRIAGE AS INSITUTION, BUT HOWEVER IT’S HARD TO RESPECT SOMEONE WHO IS YOUR MATE THAT STABBS YOU IN THE BACK FOR MONEY, OR ANYTHING ELSE, THIS IS WAY LOVE IS CONDITIONALY.

    IF MANY POEPLE WOULD BE CONDITION THEMSELFS TO BE UNCONDITIOANL FOR LOVE, THAT WOULD BE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

    IF POEPLE WOULD RESPECT EACH OTHERS, THEY WOULD BE NO–

    WARS OF ANYKIND.

    NO HATERD OF THE SEXES.

    NO DEOVRICE.

    NO PROBLEMS OF ANYKIND WHAT-SO-EVER.

    JUST UNCONDITIOANL LOVE…

    Take Care,

    William…

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